Filthy Lucre

When you work in finance you form a bond with money. You look after it, it looks after you. But, as spoonman might have hinted at, I like things to be clean. And money ain't clean. Let's face it when was the last time that you had a fiver with a bit of backbone to it. They're all limp and pathetic and, frankly, very well soiled. Last week I tried to put one in a pay and display machine to pay for my ticket and the machine spat it out. I wasn't surprised, I wouldn't eat it either.

Fortunately with BACS and CHAPS and all that there's not a lot of cash running through my well manicured fingers. But there's always a downside isn't there. Expenses. Specifically, receipts.

I think everyone who claims expenses makes sure their receipts have been strained through a tramp's underpants before they staple them to their claim. And I'm supposed to thumb through them all to check the amounts and the VAT and all that.

I'm contemplating a number of solutions - photocopies only, scanned in receipts, even laminated receipts. All good but pretty expensive.

So, I'm doing it CSI style and buying a box of latex gloves. The spares will come in handy should anyone over claim for anything.